Understanding the Role of Silence in Meeting for Worship

The School is proactively re-establishing norms for Meeting for Worship (MFW) following the pandemic. In December,Mark Doty ’86 (pictured left) School Trustee and Director of the Upper School at Mary McDowell Friends School, spoke to US students in the Meetinghouse. Mark reflected on the role of silence in his life and his efforts to teach students. He explained, “Silence happens collectively and individually—all at once. You are neither sleeping nor communicating. It’s deliberate and difficult. You can tell when the feeling in the room is not centered.” He acknowledged that settling into silence is more difficult after the pandemic and finds queries are helpful in giving people something to focus on and to share.

To give students perspective, he described the atmosphere in 1984, the year he arrived at Friends. “[Edward] Koch was Mayor. [Ronald] Regan was President. Beastie Boys were the #1 band and the Knicks #1 draft pick was Patrick Ewing. Tensions with Russia were high. Ben Frisch was there and so was Joe Junior’s.” Over the course of his life, coming together in silence has helped him process some difficult moments, such as the death of John Lennon. He also associates MFW with joy, and comments, “I loved announcements and some of my favorite moments have been stories of pride in learning.” He reminded students of the beauty of the 15th Street Meetinghouse.